Lmao!!! What is this nonsense I am typing? No matter how much English I speak danfo is danfo and I won't even try and see the silver lining there.
Whenever I board a bus, these are the things I notice:
- The rude passenger: I never noticed how rude Lagosians were until I went to Imo for service. In Imo if you enter a bus, you greet everybody 'útutu oma'. But in this Lagos, someone will enter bus, no good morning, squeeze face like bum bum and be shouting,'Abeg, dress o!!No space. Shift to where biko? Are you supposed to be comfortable in danfo? Is the whole idea of danfo not to get you to your destination in the worst way possible? Please correct me if I am wrong.
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| passenger: Abeg dress. me: To where? |
- The passenger whose hearing is impaired: There is always that one passenger that never listens when the conductor shouts, 'Enter with your change o!! No #1000 or #500 change'. Halfway into the journey the passenger brings out his 1k note and says,' See my money, na for one person o!'
- The I-better-pass-una passenger: These ones have cars but their mechanics disappointed them,so they come in with an attitude. They are quick to drop 'Do you know who I am','Its not your fault', 'See this idiot,on a good day can you talk to me like this?' when the conductor is acting like the off spring of a bastard.
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| my face when an i better pass una passenger starts misbehaving |
- The connected passenger:I like these ones very well. These are the passengers who are quick to change it for the driver and conductor when they are acting a fool. You know when you ask enter a bus to Oshodi but the driver stops at Bolade or inside Oshodi market and you think of the long trek to the bridge. The way the driver is so quick to say, 'Oya, ebole.' You will think you are a one night stand that overstayed her welcome, so her host had to throw her out. The disrespect. This particular passenger is friends with the OPC, the police, so he has their numbers on speed dial, he is probably wearing starched native that day and he is carrying a big TECNO phone so his performance is believable. He keeps shouting, 'Hah!! O mo mi!! You don't know me o!! Ask around'.The conductor and the driver fall for this, so they beg him, he comes down from the bus with fire in his loins. But he still treks to Osodi.
- The responsible passenger: At times you enter a bus without a conductor, so one passenger takes it upon himself to collect the fares from passengers line by line. I know those type of people, they were the oversabi people in secondary school. Those ones that were supposed to be class captain but they weren't because they resumed late.
- For lack of a better word, I will call this group th announcers: When these ones want to alight from their busstops they are quick to give the driver their description, so he is a little patient with them as they drop off. You hear statements like, 'Edakun, O gbe omo at eru' or 'Sisi lo bole' or 'Agbalagba , fe bole, erora'
- What of the ones that always hustle for front seat?
So these are things I have noticed on danfo. Share yours with me.
Photocredit: http://bunmiodunowo.com/ and zikoko.com
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