I am at the jumping bus phase of my life, at this stage I am appreciating the little things, the conductors feisty attitude, the unpleasantness of my fellow passengers that could be in the form of an attitude or body odor.
Lmao!!! What is this nonsense I am typing? No matter how much English I speak danfo is danfo and I won't even try and see the silver lining there.
Whenever I board a bus, these are the things I notice:

This is a rant!!

You know how you go to the salon and you meet a customer who has an attitude? You don't like her because you think she is really being rude . But do you notice something? Her hair gets done. She looks fabulous and you with all your humility pant dey wear you.
I have noticed that these Lagos stylists don't listen. Especially the ones on the island, all that attitude when you are not even a pro in your craft? Will you gerrarahere? I am managing you and you
Today I went to the salon with my receeding hairline and i told the babe, 'sofri sofri, please pretend that these edges don't exist .Ignore them. If the devil tells you to pick them. Tell him not to lead you into temptation'.

For me, it can be a heartbreaking venture.

Guys, Guys!! This is a public service announcement, 2face aka InnoBaby,Innocent Idibia is 40!!
Today feels like a public holiday. 2face is a legend. Did I see you squeeze your face?  Ehn! Ehn! I did not stutter,  I did not stammer. He is a legend, the best thing that happened to Nigeria since we discovered crude oil.
I have followed his music from Plantashun Boiz to his Kennis Music days and I have seen growth.

Fear not, I have not moved to the light side, that is just filter.
I was discussing with my younger sister and a friend of hers came to mind, and I asked after her. She told me she had just ended things with her boyfriend.
For the sake of this piece, lets call her Ainu.

 I saw a disturbing video on Instagram of a Ghanaian lady who jumped down a 40 storey building because her husband was cheating on her with her mom and they were both pregnant. I was just sad, I cried: the way her bones broke upon hitting the ground. My God!!
I watched that video and these were the lessons I got from it.

Quick question: If you just came back from Imo to Lagos because of NYSC, are you an #IJGB (I Just Got Back)? Do I get to brand myself with that name?  No?  Alright.
So I just discovered some new songs since I got to Lagos, apparently they are not new but I might have been living under a rock. So here is my list :

Is it still cool to make the peace sign when taking a picture?!

Hi Guyyyysss *in Toke's voice*
Happy new month!!!
How has the first part of the year been?
August is upon us people!!  I am excited about this month very optimistic too. It's my prayer that in this new month we all experience favor, we make progress and we take steps that will take us closer to our dreams.
I am taking up some volunteer work before the job comes. It should be interesting, I will share the details as the time comes.
I am currently attending a workplace readiness program at The Covenant Place, the struggle not to have a Frank Donga is real!!
Incase you know any media houses recruiting, or in need of intern, do let me know. I am an email away: ifeoma.nwawe@gmail.com
Have a most fulfilling month.
Xoxo,
Oma!

Dear EN,
I don't know how to write this letter without covering my face in shame. I am filled with ashame.

we were literally rubbing shoulders with Mai

When Friday night, while the whole of Lagos was turning up, I was helping my cousin take out her kinky braids and we were just having random conversations from how her daughter said her nanny looked like a zebra because she wore a black and white stripped dress to how her pastor keeps rallying for followers on twitter. I still need to find the connection with hair and gist, its almost inevitable.

I don’t know about many people, but for my family there is an unwritten rule that if you add color to your hair, the heaven might come down to the earth, thunder might strike.

Single girls be like.

Fasting period
Saturday 17th,2015
9am
Iya: Oma there is akara and bread. Will you eat?!
Me:(smiles foolishly) Yes!!
Iya:Oya, go and take
Me: Thank you!!

3pm
Iya: Let's pray
Me:( sluggishly gets out of the bed) ehm, I am coming
Iya: I don't know where you will take this attitude to, you are not spiritual. Too lazy. I asked you if you will eat bread, you said yes and added thank you.  And you know we are fasting and you said yes. Your case is with God.
Me: Bhet, iya you asked me..
Iya: So if I teII you to jump inside fire, you will jump?! Please close your mouth and eyes lets pray.
I am just sitting there like you betrayed me by testing me with food. You shouldn't have.
For many of us seeking the face of the Lord on the altar of prayer and fasting may all our heart desires be granted. The black man blood in us must keep pumping, we won't die on the line.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
Love,
Ifeoma N.

I heard my friend whining about how she had been unemployed for a while and how her uncle who worked in one of Nigeria's biggest bank was at ease and never asked for her CV.
I am there thinking, in this new year, we are blaming people for our misfortunes,already?
I was a little ticked off. How did she get to this stage of entitlement? Who deserves joblessness? Who?
So because someone is/might be related to you by blood, it is the person's job to become your Jesus? The answer to your many problems?